As You Wish
by jeshhippo
Summary: ok so yes this is another after Trenzalore fic, but I hope you read anyway. all Doctor POV. Will become M
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hi fellow who fans. This is my first story will be a few chapters long all Doctor POV. Please review and let me know what you think/feel, also is if its a yay or nay to keep going.

Thank you, Jesh.

Chapter one:

I carry her out of my time stream. Vastra, Jenny and Strax are there waiting. I hand her too them and fall to my knees, my body relaxing after being almost torn apart. I feel everyone watching, waiting for me to do something, but I can't keep my eyes off her.

Strax is the first to speak "I will carry the boy to the TARDIS"

My lips move in attempts of a smile as I watch Strax pick up Clara and make his way out. Jenny helps me to my feet and asks if I'm ok, all I can do is nod. We all get inside and Clara is laid on the seat still unconscious.

Vastra finally gets me to look away by saying "Doctor we must leave, it is not safe."

I turn to the controls without a word sending us back to Vastra's house. I don't bother with my normal fun of leaving on the brakes, the TARDIS know I'm not in the mood and makes it as quick and smooth as possible. As we land everyone is still silent. I walk to Clara but stop near her and lean on the railing, fear stops me from getting to close. Vastra nods to Jenny who then checks out the doors to see if its safe. I hear Jenny tell her they are home, with that Vastra seems to gain control

"Strax take Clara to the med bay, Jenny help the Doctor."

I go along with it, what else could I do? my eyes never looking away from Clara's sleeping face. It's the first time in all my years I don't have words.

We get to the med bay quickly and I lean on the doorway, watching as Strax and Vastra check Clara over. Jenny brings me tea, which I take but forget instantly. I can almost feel the clock ticking, I was never good at waiting. After a while I notice Vastra looking at me, as I turn my head to her she speaks.

"Clara appears fine, we haven't been able to find anything wrong."

I open my mouth to speak, my throat won't open. Jenny brings my attention to the tea in my hands. I take a sip, returning a small part of me back to normal.

"Thank you, all of you." I say without looking away from Clara. I try to hide the sorrow from my voice as I go on. "You should go and rest and I will stay with Clara."

Jenny pipes in "But Doctor you need rest, I will st-"

"No!" I interrupt, I take a breath realising I was to harsh. "Please I just need to be with Clara"

I feel my eyes beg and I try to mask it.

Vastra clears her throat "Come Jenny, Strax. The Doctor will inform us if there is any change. " she turns to me "and we will come and check on them tomorrow" I nod and they leave.

I stand in the same spot for what feels like hours. The tea has long gone cold. All I hear is Clara's soft breathing and the TARDIS humming sweetly to us. I begin to realise I should move, so I start by putting down the cup and walking very slowly towards her, scared that if I get to close it could somehow harm her. The TARDIS makes a hurry up you daft old man kind of noise and I walk the last few steps. She looks like she's sleeping, only her eyes give away more. They show she is dreaming of all her other lives and all the deaths that go with them. Sometimes she smiles, sometimes she looks as though her heart is breaking. In theses moments I gently stoke her hair. After another hour I feel my tiredness catch up with me, I can't bare the thought of leaving her so I push one of the other beds next to hers and lay down. I see she is going though something bad and I hold her hand, she begins to calm again. I keep holding her hand, gently rubbing my thumb over the back of it. My eyes get heavy and I sleep.

I feel a nudge of my shoulder, my eyes snap open and I sit up. Clara is still out cold and Jenny is standing next to my bed. Vastra is next to Clara's bed, checking vitals.

"Doctor" Jenny says softly "Sorry to wake you but I thought you would like some breakfast." she motions down to the tray she is holding.

Eggs, bacon, toast and a cup of tea. My stomach growls in approval. Jenny smiles and I cross my legs and take the tray.

"Thank you Jenny." I say as we share a smile. "Vastra how is she?"

She checks a few more things before she replies. "Confusingly the same. nothing is wrong with her."

I nod and take a few bites, returning me to my old self.

"Her brain just needs to run through it all and then she will wake up" I sound more confident then I feel.

Vastra says Jenny will bring me my meals, I tell her there is nothing more she can do for Clara and that I will stay by her side. Vastra stands looking like she wants to say something, but nods to me and they leave.

On that first day nothing happens, I sit and stroke her hair, to scared to leave her side. That goes on for three more days. Nothing but sitting and waiting and waiting. I barely sleep and I can't leave the room, I'm too scared she will wake up when I leave or ... but I can't think like that, I won't let myself. Luckily Jenny is bringing me my food, otherwise I would have forgotten to eat. She tries to make conversation but I can't hear her. Vastra tries too, she gets a little out of me but only because she mentions Clara. Oddly enough they even sent Strax to try.

He walked in and said "I was ordered to come in and cheer you up sir." Then he patted me on the back and said "There, there" and left...

I stare after him baffled, what do you say to that? I guess he means well? and I guess it got me to look away, even for just for a moment.

The fifth day I'm angry and restless, I pace the room. I feel like a tiger in a zoo, ready to pounce. This is the greatest form of torture. Not only do I have to wait, but there is nothing I can do and it scares me that I'm not sure what's happening or what will happen. She has to wake up, doesn't she? Yes she has too, if she doesn't... No, I can't be alone again. But I don't think I could risk anyone else. Not after my Clara. I can't lose her. My hearts feel like they are breaking. My anger blinds me and I run into a piece of equipment, I knock it over and yell at it. It has been long enough, why won't she wake up! How can I just sit and wait, but no, I could never leave. I stop at the foot of her bed she and then she starts to frown again. I give out a yell of frustration.

"Doctor?" I hear softly from the door, it's Jenny with a plate of food.

I growl "Leave"

She is frozen by my tone. I step towards her.

"I said leave" I say softer but I can see in her eyes it scares her more.

She takes a step back but pushes the tray towards me. I push it to the ground

"Get out!"

She runs. Shamefully I then yell at Clara.

"What were you thinking! Why would you do something so stupid, This is such a human thing to do! human and mushy and no thought put into it at all. I have lived so long, too long and you, you just... It's wasn't worth it, I'm not worth it. You could have died! You stupid human girl. How could you just... just walk right in, like? like you knew what you were doing!" I fall to the floor tears flowing. "Please, please don't leave me Clara, my Clara" I beg.

I wake early on the sixth day, still on the floor by her bed. I'm sore and stiff but I manage to crawl into my bed. I hold her to me, kiss her forehead and close my eyes again. I wake when I hear a knock on the door. I sit up to get the door and think better off it.

"come in"

It's Vastra with Jenny behind looking down at the ground. I remember what happened

"Oh Jenny"

she looks up at me shyly.

"Jenny, I'm sorry."

what else could I say? she nods but still stays a bit back.

Vastra gets my attention "Now Doctor, it is about time you got out of here."

I open my mouth to protest but she keeps going.

"Doctor I think you might need to freshen up a bit and I could use the time to look Clara over"

I look down at Clara how can I leave her? though now that I think about it, when was the last time I had a shower? Vastra sees I'm still uneasy.

"Doctor, I promise not to leave her side and I will have Jenny fetch you if there is any change."

She is right. I sigh and kiss her hand gently. I slowly walk to the door and see my bedroom door on the other side of the hallway, at least the old girl knows I don't want to waste time today. I glance back at Clara before I go.

The shower works wonders. My shoulders relax and the tightness of my chest lightens. She will be fine. I clean my hair and my body as quickly as I can and hop out to find not my tweed suit but a comfy pair of pants and a shirt. Thank you old girl, She hums at me happily. I dress and walk out of my room. The med bay is still across from me but next to that is now the library. I smile and pat a wall in thanks. I walk in find a book put on a table right in front and walk back to the med bay.

"Any change?"

Vastra shakes her head and they go to leave.

"Uh Jenny?"

She stops at the door and looks back and smiles "Doctor I understand".

I climb up onto my bed next to Clara and look at the book in my hands. Princess Bride. I smile to myself, of course. "Now Clara, this is a special book. With fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love and miracles" as I look down at her I can feel my eyes are welling with hope.

"Her favourite pastimes were riding her horse and tormenting the farm boy that worked there. His name was Westley, but she never called him that."

my free hand strokes her hair.

"Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around. 'farm boy, polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.' 'As you wish.' As you wish was all he ever said to her. 'Farm boy, fill these with water, please.' 'As you wish' That day she was amazed to discover that when he was saying as you wish, what he meant was, 'I love you'"

ah I think I'm becoming a bit of a softy in my old age. I read to her all day until I fall asleep.

Day seven, its been a whole week. I wake and tuck the hair behind her ears. Oh Clara I hate that I've put you though this. I wish there was something I could do, I promise when you wake I'll do anything, whatever you need it's yours. I sigh and look up at the ceiling, then I just talk, what else is there left to do. I spend the day talking. A few things important, most of it not. I talk about all my companions and the families I've had and lost. I talk about all the beautiful places I've been, different customs and rituals I've witnessed. Its late evening when I realised I haven't spoken of the most important thing.

"Clara" I start with a whisper not sure how to go on.

I roll over and face her, holding her hand between mine.

"My impossible girl."

I sigh and shift a bit closer.

"Clara, you have to wake up now."

I blink back the tears that are threatening to fall.

"Clara you have done so much for me, but I just need you to do one more thing, wake up Clara."

I wait for any kind of response. Nothing, I get nothing. I lay next to her and silently let my tears fall.

I'm dreaming, I'm sure of it. It's black and quiet. I start walking and then hear a whisper calling me. I need to get there, I run. I'm running though a graveyard, no not a graveyard, it's Trenzalore. But it's never ending, the whisper is everywhere. I turn around franticly not sure where to go, then I see the bigger on the outside TARDIS. Clara! I have to save her, somehow I'm already there. I see a cliff and Clara is there standing on the edge, I'm next to her.

"Clara I need you to come back now."

she is silent, I go on

"Oh Clara I need to tell you so much, please come back to me."

she turns to face me and the jumps backwards of the Cliff. I try to jump after but I can't, there is something holding me back.

"CLARA!"

I see her falling and she mouths my name before she falls into the darkness.

"I couldn't save you Clara. I'm sorry."

The darkness surrounds me and I feel myself being ripped apart again. I fall to me knees and then hear a noise, something willing me to wake. No I have to save her. I saw her falling. I can't get to her. Something is trying to wake me. I hear the TARDIS calling me. Clara! My eyes fly open.

Clara's lips are moving, whispering "Doctor"

"Clara I'm here, please open your eyes!"

Her head tilts towards me and she is asleep again. She's getting better, Clara's getting better! I clasp my hands on her head and gently kiss her forehead.

"Oh Clara, you are wonderful" I say against her skin.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Ok so here is part two and I was going to make it longer but the next part I really wanted to have a whole chapter to its self so please enjoy and review.**

**Oh and a big thanks to whoufflelove, oswinsmith and guests for there wonderful reviews.**

**Chapter two:**

I stay next to her for hours, her face has more colour, her eyes are finally calm. She even gently tosses in her sleep. But she Still doesn't wake up. I sigh and find myself pacing the room and then running to her every time she shifts or makes a noise. I'm to excited and terrified all at the same time, my hearts feel like they might jump out of chest at any moment. It's been four hours just wake up already. I hear a noise from the corridor, I run to the door way making Jenny shriek and drop my breakfast.

"Jenny! She is going to wake up!"

She just stands there confused.

"Jenny go get Vastra" I gently spin her as I say it, pushing her away.

She understands then and runs back to the house. Half an hour later everyone comes in to see her. Vastra and Jenny couldn't be more pleased, Strax makes us all look at him

"I knew the boy would be perfectly fine sir."

I just shake my head and ask them to leave us and we will come to them when she wakes. There is so much I need to tell her and make her understand and I don't think I need an audience for it. Vastra nods in understanding. After a few more hours I feel myself getting impatient and I lay back on the bed and whisper to her

"Clara, its time to wake up now."

She shifts closer. Can she hear me?

"Clara?"

She lets out a soft moan, she hears me. I lay propped up on one elbow, one arm around her waist.

"Clara" I say a bit more sternly.

She nuzzles into my chest. I feel my two heats skip a beat. I lean down and kiss her cheek with a grin on my face.

"Doctor" she says so softly I can only just hear.

"yes Clara?" I croak with tears running freely.

she lets out a groan and stretches, and then snuggles back in, threatening to fall back asleep.

"Clara?" I say hopefully.

"Doctor?"

Her eyes try to open but its too bright. The TARDIS dims the lights straight away without me having to ask. Her eyes open then and try to focus on me. I can feel myself grinning, I bring us closer holding us in a tight hug, hoping to never let go. After a few moments Clara clears her throat.

"Umm Doctor? what's going on? Where are we?" she looks around, I feel her stiffen. "Doctor are we in the same bed?"

I pull back too excited to care about my blush, I kiss her forehead.

"Oh Clara" I say not pulling away. "My Clara"

I smile down at her, feeling my hearts swell when she smiles back. Then something crosses her face.

"Doctor? am I.. ok?"

I smile softly " Yes Clara, your safe. We are in the TARDIS, you have been asleep for eight days."

She thinks and nods.

"I went into your time stream"

even though its not a question I say "yes"

she looks up at me and then quickly away.

"So why are we in the same bed?"

I pull back to my bed, as I realise I'm mostly on top of her. Now I can diffidently feel my face blushing. I answer quickly.

"Well I didn't want to leave you and it calmed you down when I was with you"

I look down at the bed feeling like a little kid who isn't sure if he did the right or the wrong thing. She lifts my chin up too look at her.

"Thank you"

she leans forward and kisses my cheek. She only pulls back slightly. I feel her breath on my lips.

"Thank you for saving me."

I lean forward, our lips almost touching.

The TARDIS jolts and Clara is now on top of me. My hands have moved to her hips and she is now the one blushing. I gently tuck her hair behind her ear and pull her softly down towards me. when we are only a inch apart her stomach growls loudly. I cant help but laugh and she buries her head in my shirt laughing softly. I hold her close till we calm down and then subconsciously stroke her hair. I feel her snuggle closer and sigh happily. I feel a warmth flowing between us.

"Oh my Clara."

Her stomach growls again. I pull her up from me.

"Food, you need food. I will get you anything."

She smiles while replying "I think I need to get out of bed. My body feels like it needs a walk."

I think this over, we should go tell the others.

"Fine, but you have to let me help you."

she smiles sweetly.

"Ok."

then it turns into a smirk.

"But I would like to change my cloths."

I swallow feeling my heart race. she laughs as she sits up very carefully. I get out of bed and head around to her side. She places her hands on my shoulders, making her more stable and I bring my hands to her hips. she blushes and I go to remove them, but she gently shakes her head in a no. She pulls me closer to rest her head on my shoulder. My hearts are still racing as I shift my hands around her back, pressing us together. I press my head to the side of hers, she presses back. I softly place my lips on her neck, her breath gets hotter and I gently start to nip and suck on her soft skin. I hear her moan and I feel a heat running though my chest and down. I growl into her neck her running my hands up the back of her shirt.

Then she freezes in my arms, I freeze too. She gently pushes me back and looks at down. I step back a little. I'm not really sure what to do, she isn't looking at me. Is that tears in her eyes? Did I do something wrong? I thought maybe she felt the same, but maybe not.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have"

"it.. its fine, just... I can't... I need... " she stammers.

I make sure she can sit by her self before I move further away.

"Well.."

I say trying to think of something to say clasping my hands together.

"Well I will fetch Jenny, and uh, She can give you a hand, with, uh, things"

she mumbles "That's fine"

I look back one more time as I leave the room, Clara is still staring at the floor. I'm an idiot! What was I thinking! she almost dies and she then has to deal with.. what? some mad man with a song box. She is very beautiful and her skin was so soft and the way she clung to me made me want to.. argh I'm an idiot! she wouldn't feel the same. Would she? that moan sure as hell felt like she did. My hearts skip at the thought, I push the feeling away. No then she had stop me, I will just go back to our normal companion thing. I can do that, couldn't I? I hadn't realised that I was at Vastra's door until Jenny spoke

"Doctor? is there something wrong?"

I look up at her, realising I'm frowning

"Oh no its nothing. Clara is awake, she needs your help with something."

Jenny smiles and quickly gets Vastra as well. They rush to see her and I slowly follow behind lost in my own thoughts about how to fix this.

When I get to the med bay I stop in the doorway. They are all smiling Vastra gives her a once over and Jenny has already gotten her something to eat, which Clara takes happily. Jenny motions me over. Clara wont meet my gaze. Jenny brakes the tension in the room

"Doctor help me get her to her room and then I can take it from there."

I put my arm around her waist and she puts hers around my shoulder. the first few steps are fine and then she stumbles, I pull her closer to me and she gives me a slight smile in thanks without looking at me. The more we walk the easier it is for her. The TARDIS put her room right next door to help. I hold her as she sits on the end of her bed. I tilt her chin so she looks at me.

"Are you alright?" I whisper.

"I feel much better after walking."

I just smile. She knows that's not what I meant, but now is not the time to push it. Vastra interrupts

"Doctor perhaps we should step out."

We walk to the console room and I sit back on the chair and close my eyes. It felt right when I had held her, but then she looked so sad. I will have to wait and talk to her. I jump when Vastra speaks.

"Doctor, is there something going on?"

I look up at her and mask my feelings with a smile.

"Something between you and Clara?"

I hop up and walk to the monitor pretending to check something

"Everything is fine. I just have to find the next place to visit."

Vastra nods knowing that I wont say more. I'm sifting though locations when I hear them come in. Clara is walking by her self but Jenny is close behind. Clara looks back to normal, but different, more radiant. I can't keep my eyes off her. she blushes looking down at her shoes and I go back to normal Doctor mode.

"Now then Clara where too next! The golden moons or the ice plains or"

"Doctor" she interrupts making me stop. She comes closer stopping further away then I would like and speaks softly.

"Doctor, please can we just stay still"

I nod, of course she needs to have a break, she was just scattered though time. I am an idiot.

"As you wish."

I hear a cough and I realise we have just been staring at each other. I look up to see Vastra and Jenny heading out the door and I turn back to Clara. I can see she is thinking about something, so I just wait until she is ready. She smiles softly.

"Doctor maybe we could go for a walk to the library."

I feel myself grin. I was half expecting for her to never speak to me again. I prop out my elbow and she takes it, but with a smile I had never seen before.

We enter the library and Clara finds a seat that is comfy and I put a fire on.

"Clara,"

She smiles warmly up at me so I go on

"Clara I am sorry if I up set you before."

She looks down softly shaking her head.

"No Doctor, you didn't upset me" She takes a shaky breath. "I have seen so much. I have lived your life with you. I have meet everyone you have know."

A tear falls, I quickly sit next to her and wipe it away. She leans her head into my hand, closing her eyes.

"It is hard to know what feelings are mine. Before I knew what you meant to me, now, well now I just need to be still."

her eyes are still closed. I lean back in the chair and pull her on top of me. We stay like that for an hour or so, me rubbing circles in her back. She falls asleep and I watched the fire crackle.

"Clara, you are wonderful impossible."

I kiss the top of her head and fall asleep too.

**A/N: like I said short but oh wait did I just put them to sleep on the same couch! what a scandal! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Ok so I did want this up yesterday, but things got in the way. On the other hand I think I'm quite happy with it so enjoy! oh and also thank you so much to everyone who review and who are following this! It puts the biggest smile on my face seeing that people are enjoying this.**

**Chapter three:**

I wake with a twitch, Clara is drawing patterns on my stomach were my shirt has lifted up in the night. I smile to myself and start copying the pattern on her back. She stops but is giggling. I feel myself get a devilish smile, she notices. I slightly lift her shirt up on the side and her eyes widen. I place my finger tips lightly just above her hip and start tickling her. She squirms, laughing loudly and starts pleading for me to stop. Tears start appearing in her eyes, that's when I stop.

"Well Clara that's what you get for waking me up."

She shakes her head and she props herself up on her elbow, our faces just inches apart. I swallow hard unable to look away from her lips. She whispers with a hint of need.

"Doctor"

I put my arms around her waist and pull her closer, then I stop searching her eyes to make sure its ok. She answers my question by pressing her lips to mine. Its a long slow kiss filled with warmth. I run my hands up and down her back, she wiggles herself more on top of me. I can feel her body pressed against every part of me. The kiss deepens and we are struggling to breath. She is straddling me now and I am losing the battle to keep my control. My hands are on her hips pressing her harder into me and I can't tell whose moans are whose. I begin kissing her neck and she cries out my name. I smirk, my breath hot in her ear.

"What do you need Clara?"

Her breathing is heavy, one hand has a tight hold of my arm the other running up under my shirt, her hips are rocking so softly I'm sure she doesn't know she's doing it. I can't let her lose control I need more. I roll us over on the couch so she is on her back and I'm mostly on top of her. She pulls me closer and traps one of my legs between hers, I lean down and place soft sweet kisses on her cheeks and then move to her neck which I claim as my own. As I kiss lightly down her collar bone my hand moves up under her shirt towards my goal.

"Doctor, maybe we should slow down." her voice is raspy when she speaks

I pause and I look up at her, there is lust in her eyes but also a sadness. I nod placing my head on her chest listening to her heart, willing myself to calm down. Ok count how many races have no noses, ok thirty eight, now think of how many switches on the console. I think my hearts have caught up now. I let out a big sigh relaxing while she stokes my hair and I pull us tighter together. I don't really understand but I don't want to push her, I will do whatever she needs me to do or not do. We lay there for an hour before she speaks.

"Doctor what happens now?"

I smile without looking

"Well we could stay here or.."

I look up at her grinning and wiggling my eyebrows

"I could take us to the best pancake place in the universe!?"

she laughs at my excitement. I take that as a yes and jump up ready to go. Then I realise she looks worried

"Is there something wrong Clara?"

she shakes her head in a no and looks down at her shoes. I hold out my hand and she takes. I pull her up into my arms and kiss both cheeks. She sighs happily.

"Doctor, I never thought this would happen."

I start to sway us from side to side humming an old tune.

"What's that Clara?"

She puts her head on my shoulder.

"Us, what ever us is."

I kiss the top of her head again.

"All I know is you are the most beautiful woman I've know in a very long time and I couldn't bare it if I lost you. Whatever you need us to be, that's fine by me."

she nods and we sway for a bit longer before she looks up and kisses my cheek.

"Doctor I care for you very much, but I'm just not sure if I'm ready for this yet. I mean I want this, I just feel a bit.. full? at the moment. and when we, umm are close? its wonderful but then I remember and it gets in the way. So I'm sorry if I seam a little insane sometimes."

"Clara, you can take as much time as you need. Because I don't have any doubts it was very obvious you wanted this."

I feel myself smirking and she slaps my arm, blushing

"Doctor! I can't believe you just said that"

"oh? Why's that?"

"Well because you normally get all flustered at the thought of well any of this kind of sexy stuff"

I can't help but laugh and she tries to glare but I can see she is trying not to laugh.

"Sexy stuff?"

I take a few deep breaths to calm down and look at her very seriously

"Look Clara, while you were asleep it was one of the hardest things I have had to go though and I know how much I care for you and I don't want to hide it anymore"

"Hide it? like you felt this before?"

I simply nod. She leans forward and places two kisses on my shirt where my hearts are and looks up into my eyes. We smile at each other until her stomach growls at us to get moving. She giggles, blushing slightly

"Well Clara I guess we should get going. Race you!"

and I run off to the console. Clara is not far behind and I begin pressing buttons and switching levers, making it more of a show then needed. when we land I grin at her a bit goofy and she smiles shyly at me. I hold out my hand and she takes it as we step outside.

We step out of the TARDIS onto the parking lot of Bettys Diner. A standard, if not run down, fifties diner in the middle of nowhere. I turn to her a bit excited.

"Bettys Diner, best pancakes in the universe!"

She is standing there with her mouth open

"Where are we?"

I grin from ear to ear.

"We are in between galaxies, The diner just floats around space, kind of like a space truck stop."

I look back to the view. It is quite glorious stars completely surrounding us with no other lights to dampen them. I put my arm around her shoulder and start pointing things out.

look stars and the turn and point

"See that is Earth, that's Midnight, that's the Dagmar Cluster, That's the Isop Galaxy which contains Raxacoricofallapantoriu, that's the Lost Moon of Poosh, "

I turn to her with a cocky smile

"Which I returned by the way. That's - "

she puts her hand on my arm to stop me.

"Doctor, its wonderful. I feel like I can see everything from here."

I can't hide my grin and I think I might be jumping up and down a bit.

"So you like it?"

She smiles at the millions and millions of stars.

"its beautiful."

I take her hand and begin running inside.

"If you think that's great you should try the pancakes!"

I frown when I see she is laughing at me. I know the beauty of the location amazes her, but the pancakes amaze me more.

The diner isn't the fanciest place, in fact its a wonder how it still floats. The white and black checked floor is badly scuffed, the bar stools and booths all red and chrome which is flaking. But who doesn't love pancakes? We take a booth with the best view and Betty walks up.

"Hi kids, what can I get ya?"

I smile brightly

"pancakes please!"

she looks me up and down and sighs already tired with me. Then she turns to Clara.

"So pancakes for both of you? and something to drink?"

She looks to me unsure and then turns back

"Umm, what's good here?"

Betty sighs like she is sick of that question and drones out her reply

"We have water, a varieties of teas, coffees, -"

She goes on but I have lost interest and have spied an old juke box in the corner. I hop up and play the jazziest number I can find and then run back to Clara who must have dealt with Betty who was now gone. I offer my hand

"Clara would you care to dance?"

she giggles and takes my hand

"certainly."

We dance around the room getting glares from Betty until the song ends, Clara takes a step away a bit out of breath.

"Doctor I think your a bit too much fun for me"

and she sits back down. I plop down across from her.

"I guess I should try to remember that your still recovering."

She smirks

"yeah! you should"

she laughs as it takes me a minute to relies that she really isn't upset. Luckily that's when the pancakes come and two cups of tea, Clara smiles knowing she made the right choice. We eat in silence, the pancakes are just how I remember them. I have almost finished when I see Clara has stopped eating.

"You don't like them?"

maybe I should have gone with the best waffles in the universe. She looks up with sadness in her eyes.

"Oh, I'm fine, I mean there fine."

She looks down and starts playing with them. I put my hand on hers, stopping her.

"What's wrong?"

she puts her fork down and looks out the window without seeing anything.

"I, I uh just remembered the last time I was in a diner."

What's wrong with diners? I can't think of a time I took her to a diner? all I manage out is

"oh?"

she nods

"well it wasn't me, me. It was one of the other me's"

I nod and wait for her to reply, she takes in a shaky breath.

"Its all jumbled and seams almost like a dream, But I remember working in a diner. A very boring job until you walked in."

I take a sharp breath hoping she wasn't there that day.

"I saw River, Amy, Rory and you. I was your waitress. I knew something was going to happen so I followed you. I saw the astronaut shoot you. I saw you die."

A tear falls down my cheek, she was there she saw everything. She is shaking her head, tears flowing.

"I knew I had failed, I didn't go back to work, I just, I guess I just died at that point? I'm not sure."

she put her head in her hands.

"What happened? I saw you die? you didn't regenerate."

She was sobbing now. I get up and sit next to her pulling her into me

"Clara its ok, I'm fine, your fine. Its all ok now."

She nods trying to calm down. I help her up and we go back to the TARDIS.

Inside she brakes down more and I have to pick her up. I take her to her room and lay her on the bed.

"Clara?"

she just sobs. I sit on the edge of her bed resting a hand on her shoulder, she flitches away.

"Clara if I could take these memories away I would."

She stops and look at me with haunted eyes

"if I remember them, I forget who I am."

she lets out a one more sob.

"Its too much"

I shake my head not knowing how to help

"Clara I-"

She rolls away from me

"Please Doctor, I just need time. Can you please leave?"

My hearts sink, but I know there is nothing I can do. I stoke her hair as reply

"As you wish."

I walk out of the room and just wonder the halls.

**A/N: Ok so I'm sorry I ended on a sour note, but please do review and I promise it will get happier! most likely..**


	4. Clara Intermission

**A/N: Ok so sorry for leaving them in such a bad place for so long. I was hoping to update sooner but oh well. Now I hope you like this its a little filler before the next chapter and it is a bit messy but I feel like that's how her brain is so here it is... oh and please review! it really helps.**

**Clara Intermission:**

I hear him close the door and then I'm left in the darkness, only my sobs breaking though the silence. I feel as though I'm losing him again and my heart must be braking from the tightness of my chest. Eventually I realises I have stopped sobbing and now my tears a falling quietly down my cheeks. I remember everything about that day so clearly, but they are not quite me so it's slightly skewed. It's like a sentence would be said just a tad different or a movement would be more clumsy or sometimes more elegant. I don't think I will ever understand how to explan it, not even to myself but all of them feel different when I think about them. almost like it me wearing a new outfit or costume. I feel myself let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding. I wish I could get this image out of my head.

I saw the astronaut rise out of the water. I saw the Doctor fall and the world with him. I saw his family cry and morn him, but I couldn't, I knew they couldn't see me. So I walked. I walked further into the desert, my tears drying on my cheeks in the heat. But I didn't stop, how could I? I had failed. Eventually I fell too, I remember laying there looking at the clear blue sky with the vultures circling. I remember thinking this is what I deserve for failing and then as night fell I went cold and never warmed again. I try and push the memory away and focus on the times I succeeded. But even they end after I do my job, I would often sacrifice myself for him. One of us lived two years after they successfully helped. The oldest I lived was twenty nine. None of the me's lived to thirty. None of them had families or loved ones, they had friends sure but no one who they let into their soul. They only had one purpose. Most of them didn't even know. Only a few saw him and even less knew who he was.

Sometimes I get scared I am one of them, that my time will come to try and save him and no matter what happens that will be the end. How can I be sure that I'm not one of them. But the Doctor never kissed any of us before, well we had kissed him, but he had never kissed me. He has never said such sweet words to me before, he said I was beautiful and he cared for me, my cheeks blush at the thought. So maybe he thinks I'm the real one? and I suppose he is quite clever so I should listen to him. But then again he didn't say these things before all this happened, but he did say he cared for me before too and just hid it for some reason. I let out a growl of frustration. This is stupid thinking like this. I am me. So from now on I will try to think I am the real me. Plus that will give me more time to work out what is going on between us. I can't believe we kissed, well we did more then just kiss, it got kind of heated. My heart races at the thought. I know I was in love with him before and I'm sure I am still. Its just half of the others were as well and sometimes I feel like its them looking at him and loving him. But yes I do love him. I will just have to push them into a corner and try to just listen to myself. I still can't believe this is real. I am dating the Doctor. Well I hope that's what this is, but maybe I shouldn't get my hopes up just because he says he cares doesn't mean he loves me or does it? Ok this is making my head hurt I wish he was here. Suddenly my bathroom door opens and its the Doctor grinning, he then sees me still on the bed and his smile fades and a sadness creeps in. I must look like a mess. but wait..

"Doctor how and why are you in my bathroom?"

He glances up at the ceiling and scoffs. Ok TARDIS, got ya. He groans and opens his mouth to explain. I hold me hand up and answer myself.

"No I understand. Please doctor, just shut up and hold me"

He takes his jacket off and carefully places it on my chair and then comes over to the bed to lay down. I lay with my back to him as he puts his arm loosely around my waist. I relax instantly and the last thing I remember is feeling his lips softly kiss my temple.


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Two in one day! yay! and since I am being nice you have to review. Also forgot to say on the last one thanks to everyone who did review it means a lot to me and I hope everyone enjoys this.**

**Chapter four:**

I walk down the quiet halls slowly letting the TRADIS guide me. At first I was upset, almost angry, but as I walked I calmed down. Over the many years I have learned to cope with this sort of thing, if not worse. This will be nothing compared to living with the sadness and the loneliness of traveling alone and even though she asked me to leave this is the first time in about a thousand years, give or take, that I have hope. I have had families and I loved them all but this, this I know is different. I can't explain it, maybe it because we have already been though so much, what else could we go though? well I guess we still need to get Clara better. Which scares me because I don't know if she will ever get over this. How could I possibly help when she squeezed hundreds of years into five minutes.

I sigh and try to tune out my thoughts, focusing on what is around me instead. I pass a sea of coloured doors, reds, greens, blues, silvers, bronze and everything in between. All different styles mechanical, rustic, plain, inviting and some that make me look away. Some doors I made so long ago that I can't remember what they lead too. I see one door that makes me stop. It's Rivers bedroom. Only she could have made me say goodbye, I hate goodbyes. But I guess it worked out for the best, it is one more reason I don't have to hide me feelings anymore. Of course I loved River, but it's hard to kiss someone when you have seen them die. If only we meet in order, but of course that couldn't be because of all the timey wimey stuff that gets in the way. I open her door and the TARDIS hums sadly. I know you miss her too old girl. I close the door for the last time and give her walls a pat.

I guess its been a few hours, well I know it has I can't lie, I have been counting the minutes since I have seen her. it has been two hundred and twenty six minutes and three seconds. I let out another sigh, I hate waiting. I make another turn and I'm at a dead end. No wait there is one door on the left. I look up at the ceiling, where are you taking me dear? As I walk towards it I have trouble working out where it leads, I'm exhausted and all the doors feel like a bit of a blur. It's a basic white wooden door, nothing special. A bathroom? I touch my hand to it, no a bedroom. I feel a smile forming on my lips. Thank you sexy! I grin up at her and push open the door.

My smile disappears instantly. Clara is sitting on the bed with her knees curled up under her chin and arms tightly around them. She is no longer crying, but her eyes are red and she has mascara lines down her cheeks.

"Doctor how and why are you in my bathroom?"

Oh she is very cheeky, can't just let me come in the proper way. I let out a groan and walk to the edge of the bed. I open my mouth to explain, but she beats me too it.

"No I understand. Please doctor, just shut up and hold me"

I take my jacket and put it over a chair in her room, I then lay behind her, propped up on my elbow and hold her, she calms and falls asleep within seconds. I kiss her temple and stay with her for an hour or so in silence. In that time I start to form a plan for our next outing and when that's done I find myself studying her. The way she half smiles in her sleep when I'm near, the way one leg is slightly bent so she is laying a little on her stomach, the way her hip curves up calling for me to run my finger over it. I find I can't stop myself. Softly I run my hands from her stomach to her side and go up, I stop when I feel the edge of her bra though her shirt and bring my finger tips back down her side and onto her hip. I keep going down her soft thigh, stopping to about half way to come back to her hip. I rub circles on it. Then I feel her wiggle closer to me, I move my hand to the front of her hip bone and pull her tighter to me. She lets out a soft moan, my hearts race. I gently place my lips on her neck and she pushes back into me. I kiss from her shoulder to just behind her ear.

"Doctor" she moans.

I flick my tongue over the soft spot between her neck and her shoulder and then I gently suck her neck as she pulls my hands tighter around her to just under her breast. I let my hand wonder up cupping her breast and she lets out a squeak. She turns her head to try and kiss me hungrily. I move my hand down to just under her bellybutton and press her more firmly into me, she moans and begins grinding herself into me. I hear myself moan and my pants getting tighter. I run my fingers along her exposed skin between her pants her top, her hips buck at the sensation. I lift off her shirt up making sure to make my finger brush over her skin. She is panting now and I push her shoulder down flat on the bed but her legs are still to the side, I pull myself up and kiss her lower rib. My knees are just under her and I can feel her push and rub her arse into them. I lower myself so she can feel my weight more and she gasps when she feels me hardly push into her hip. I am licking and sucking every inch of her stomach as my hands try to undo her bra, when they do I run my hand under her bra and onto her beast. He breath hitches and I put more pressure onto her nipple. Our hips are grinding and I can't take it anymore. I take off my shirt as fast as I can and she wiggles to lay down flat, then I start working on her pants. I yank them off as she runs her nails from the top on my chest to the edge on my pants and starts pulling them down too. I have to move off the bed to take them off and while I do that she watches me with a smirk.

I crawl back to her and her bra is now gone too. I can't help but stare. She is breathtaking she blushes and I kiss her cheeks softly. She pushes one of her legs to mine and I realise she wants me to move between hers. I do and I use my knees to make sure she is wide enough. She looks excited and scared at the same time and I'm sure I look the same. I can't believe this is happening. I look into her eyes and she nods, knowing I needed that confirmation. I bend down and as light as a feather I kiss her nipple. She lets out a soft gasp and I start kissing it deeply, she moans louder. I kiss my way up to her neck and then we both twitch when I brush myself against her centre. I look into her eyes as I push down on her and we both groan with the new sensation. I need to be inside her but she is only slightly wet. I pull back and sit up again. She has a slight frown but stops when she feels my hands running down to her hips. I move my fingers gently though her soft curls and her eyes shut with a moan. After a few passes I feel her hips buck up to my hand, needing more. I slip my fingers into her folds hearing her cry out. Up and down and then gently up to her bud. I press one finger into it and her hips trash and she cries my name. She is beyond wet now, but I'm enjoying watching her wiggle under my finger tips. I rub firmly over her and she starts grinding into my hand. I quickly run my hand down and press one finger in side her and then quickly back out again and then push two in and out again. I return to her sensitive bud.

She is moaning loudly now and without her noticing I position myself at her entrance. I flick my thumb over her and she bucks down onto me. Which makes her shout out in surprise as she feels my tip inside her. I grin down at her and she smirks back, pushes her self down to me more, I hear myself call out her name as her tightness envelops me. I move my hands to either side of her and I push as far as I can into her and we stay like that trying to catch breath. She brings her hand up to my neck and pulls my down to kiss her. It's a deep kiss but it's filled with a warmth rather than a hungrier. I feel my hips take on a mind of their own and gently start grinding into her. We both moan into each others lips and then I bring my head to her neck as I pick up pace. Clara starts bringing her hips up to meet mine and we both groan. Every few thrusts I kiss or nip at her neck and her breath hitches at each one. I can feel her getting tighter and I know I wont last much longer, so I pick up the pace and I feel her clutching to me. Her body tenses and then shudders. She constricts around me and I feel myself lose it and buck wildly into her both of us yelling our groans. I collapse onto of her and I feel her running her hand up and down the back of my neck, almost purring with satisfaction. I gently pull myself out and I feel her give a slight shudder.

I lay down next to her and pull her on top of me. She grins into my chest and I let out a happy sigh. She runs her hands over every inch of my chest, as I run my finger though her hair. She then quickly sits up and pulls a blanket over us, I kiss the top of her head in thanks. Did that really just happen, I look down, yes we are both naked. ok cool right well whats next, well um.. I don't think I have ever been happier. I need to tell her, yes that's whats next. I can't see her face from here I'm not sure if she is awake.

"Clara?"

There is so much I need to say to her, need her to know.

"Go to sleep." she commands

I smile, she sounds happy and sleepy. I feel myself yawn and she chuckles. Ok maybe I am too. I guess it can wait a few hours. I pull her closer and smile.

"As you wish."

**A/N: what did you think? please review!**


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: Yes yes I know I have been lazy. but this should wet your whistle.. bad choice of words maybe.. PLEASE review it makes me happy and want to write more.**

**Chapter Five:**

Sometimes being a time lord is frustrating, well a lot of the time really. But at the moment I can't stand the fact that I don't sleep more then a few hours at a time. Ok yes maybe I am slightly impatient. But the feeling of her pressed against me is driving me mad. Her leg is hooked over mine so perfectly that she has tucked herself tightly into my hip. My arm is still wrapped around her back, my fingers on her side. I will give her six hours sleep and then I will wake her. My other hand is holding hers on my chest, every so often I rub my thumb over the back of her hand and she lets out a little sigh or smiles into my chest. I look around her room, what a mess. I have no idea how her bra got up there, strange. As I'm looking aimlessly around my fingers brush softly up and down her side. I must have hit a sensitive spot because she wriggles and lets out a groan. Her small movement is to much for me her breasts brush our tangled hands, her hips rock against mine. I know my hearts have increased their pace. I need her to wake up now. Just under five hours, that has to be enough.

I gently push her back and remove my arm from under her. She lets out a unhappy moan as the cooler air hits her. Her brow is scrunched and she curls her self into a ball. I can't help but smile at how cute she is. I lean down and kiss her temple once, her lips twitches. I'm grinning now as I place soft kisses all over her, her temples, cheeks, lips, nose and everywhere in between. She groans and rolls over to go back to sleep. But she can't fool me, I can see she is hiding a smile. I press myself as close as I can to her back, she lets out a soft moan as our skin makes contact. I smirk, she must have forgot we were still naked. I purposely wiggle myself against her soft skin, her eyes are still closed and she is trying even harder not to smile. I lean down, resting my hand on her hip and start kissing her shoulder. Still nothing. I kiss towards her neck and I see her bite her lip. If she wants to pretend to be asleep, fine, two can play this game. I move my hand down across her cheek, give her a quick squeeze and give her shoulder one last kiss. Then I roll out of the bed. I stand up and stretch knowing full well that if I turned around I would see Clara staring at me. I stretch slowly making sure she gets a good look and then bend down to find our cloths. I pick up all the cloths making two piles on the end of the bed making sure I don't look her way. Just when I'm about to give up and put my cloths back on she clears her throat. I look up at her and my jaw drops. She pushed the covers away and is on her knees motioning me to come over. The look on her face is enough to bring me too my knees, literally I fall to the floor. Her eyes are hungry but with a glint of mischief, her lips are slightly parted and her breathing has pick up pace. With every breath my eyes can't help but dart down to her rising chest. I wet my lips so I can speak again.

"Ok Clara, you win"

She smirks and crawls forward on the bed stopping with her face just inches from mine. She leans forward and brushes her lips to mine and keeps going to my ear letting out a hot breath.

"What do I win?"

My entire body shivers, she giggles and sits back on her knees, running her hands though my hair. I have to look up at her, when I do I see her looking down at me satisfied with her win. Well I can change that, I will show her what she has won. I bring my hands to her knees spreading my fingers wide and achingly slow inch them up the top of her thighs. I can hear her purr her approval. The closer I get the harder her breathing becomes. I stop at the top of her thighs, I feel her try to lift her hips and open for me, but I stop her by pushing her back down. She lifts my chin to look at her, her eyes are pleading. I turn my head and kiss her palm.

"Patience."

I smile softly and she nods not very willingly. I bring my gaze down to her chest and stomach, I lean forward and kiss just above her bellybutton. She sighs. I keep my kisses soft as I kiss all around her button and then bring my hands around to cup her soft cheeks. I quickly flick my tongue from her bellybutton up, she gasps. Then I return to my soft feathery kisses. I start at her bellybutton and kiss to her hip, then back, then I do the same to the other hip. Her hands are running though my hair and down my back and shoulders, each touch sends a wave of heat down though me. I kiss my way up to her sternum and from there I follow the curve of her breast down and I kiss the soft spot under her breast. I kiss softly at first hearing her pant softly, then I flick my tongue and start sucking it as hard as I can. Her hands press into the back of my head holding me there. I nip the sensitive skin with me teeth and her hips buck. I squeeze her arse bringing her back down. Once I'm done leaving my mark there I kiss up and ghost my lips over her nipple and then kiss towards her other breast. One of her hands has fallen to my shoulder and she is stroking up and down my arm, letting out soft moans. I lick her other nipple and her groan gets caught in her throat. I nip it and I know she's losing it. I lean back and she looks at me confused. I smile and lift her up on her knees again. My nose hits her bellybutton and I lean forward and kiss under it. I bring my hands down the back of her thighs to the back of her knees and gently spread her legs. I sit down on my knees as I kiss down to her curls. She puts both her hands are on my shoulders to support herself. I bring my hands back up to her cheeks holding her firmly. I kiss from each hip to the edge of her inner thigh. She is shaking now. I bring one hand down around to her curls and run my finger tips lightly though them.

"Doctor please, I can't take it"

I spread her folds with my fingers and bring my lips to her bud kissing softly at first and then sucking. I drag my index finger up and down her, spreading her wetness. The scent is intoxicating, I can't help but lap it up, making sure each flick of my tongue goes over her bud. Her moans fills the room and she is shuddering. I move my finger to her opening and slowly trust into her. Her nails are digging into me now and my other hand is holding her up. I pull out and push two fingers back in, she is very tight and I give her a moment to adjust. I know she is ready when she starts to ride them, lifting her self and pushing herself down onto them. I can't but stare at this goddess ridding my fingers for all she worth. I pump my fingers in rhythm to hips and I feel her walls start to clench. I bring my lips back to her bud and lick as much of her as I can. Her body stills and my hand increase it's speed feeling her body release. I keep going making it last as long as I can. She screams my name and collapses onto me. I gradually slow my pace and carefully pull out of her but leave my fingers there, she softly bucks her bud into my tips riding out the last wave, she finally stops and I pull back from her just enough to help her lay back on the bed. I climb up next to her and prop myself up on my elbow to watch her recover. Her breathing evens out and she turns studying my face, letting out a soft chuckle.

"What's so funny my dear Clara?"

She shakes her head, smiling still.

"The smug look on your face."

I laugh and lean down and kiss her lips with as much feeling as I can. I pull back and her eyes are shining with a light I'm not used to.

"Clara,"

"yes Doctor?"

her response comes out as a whisper on my lips.

"I need to tell you something, something I have needed to tell you for a long time."

She props herself up to listen, she looks slightly worried. But I'm too nervous to put her as ease.

"Clara I, well I'm, that is for a long time now, I, I umm, well you see,"

she rests her hand on mine, which until now I didn't realise was playing with the sheets. I look up into her eyes and I know there is no need to be nervous.

"Clara, I love you."

she doesn't respond, bollocks. Too soon, I've stuffed it. I wish she would say something, she is just staring with her mouth agape.

"Umm, Clara? can you please say something?"

She nods and opens her mouth a few times to speak before succeeding.

"Doctor, you love me?"

I nod.

"Like, in love, love?"

I nod again. She leans forward and kisses me. It's a hungry kiss and without me knowing it she has somehow pushed me onto my back and is straddling me. I push her back.

"So it's a good thing?"

She nods and tries to kiss me again, but I stop her.

"and, um what about.."

she sits back, pushing our hips together. I let out a deep groan.

"We can talk later, right now let me show you how I feel"

She shifts back and sits on my thighs. She lets her nails run from my chest down the edge of my groin, my hips lift begging for her to touch me. Then one hand moves to the base of my shaft. I feel myself harden in response and she slowly but firmly starts to pump me. The feeling is incredible, like electricity running though my veins. I rest my hands on her legs, wanting to feel more of her. I feel her pump faster and faster. Then she pulls away, I look up at her ready to protest, but I stop when I see the lust in her eyes. She rises above me and pauses. I reach for her hips and begin to bring her down on me but she stops me.

"Doctor patience."

She softly covers one of my hands on her hip letting me know that's where it should be. The other she takes and laces our fingers together. She sweetly smiles and moves her first hand across her own stomach up to her breasts and gently massages them. I gulp some much needed air and squeeze her hip in approval. She moans at her own touch and I feel myself twitch. My breath is fast now and she smirks down at me. She brings her fingers down very, very slowly, letting her nails drag on her skin. My eyes follow every inch. She stops and the edge of her curls and she squeezes my hand and I look up into her eyes. Her hair is tussled, her eyes are sparkling and her skin is flushed. She is panting making her breasts heave. I caress her perfectly rounded hip.

"You are a goddess."

She smiles and nods for me to look down. When I do she runs her fingers though her curls. I groan loudly at the sight and with that she slips into her folds. Her fingers and hips easily find there rhythm and she moans above me. Her other hand is tightly squeezing mine, but I can barely feel it, this sight of her pleasuring herself above me is intoxicating. She looks down making sure I'm watching and plunges one finger inside, letting out a groan. I can't take it anymore and I bring my hand down off her hip to relieve myself. She smirks down at me and adds another finger.

"Doctor not yet"

That was definitely a command and the pure lust in her voice made me obey. I bring my hand back to her hip. I can't bare this, I need to be inside her now. Then again seeing that the sight of me hard under her is more then enough to get her off is the sexiest thing I have ever seen. Her fingers and hips slow down now and she brings her hand out and down to my length. I grunt at the touch of her slick wet hands. She gives a light squeeze and pumps her hand up and down once. I moan her name. She flicks her thumb over my tip and I twitch in her hand. She smiles sweetly as she brings her core over the top of me and gently lowers herself. I feel her engulf me in her tight warm wet centre and I know I won't last long. Once I'm deeply buried she stops and lets us both catch our breath. She smooths her hand over my abdomen, tickling me and I shift inside her, her walls clench at the movement, we both softly moan. I try to lift my hips up into her but she stops me again.

"Allow me Doctor"

She brings her fingers back to her curls and pets them softly. She then slips two fingers onto her bud, instantly her walls clench and I cry out her name. She rubs her bud faster and her core messages my length, She rises up till only my tip is inside her and the slams her herself back down. While her hand still works on her bud she brings my other hand to her breast and I roughly grope at them, unable to focus. Her hips and fingers are perfectly in sync as she uses me to get herself off. My fingertips dig into her hip as I feel myself get near. I choke out her name trying to let her know. Instead she just picks up her pace and I see her start to lose control. She begins to shudder and I can't help but buck my hips wildly up to meet her. I lose it and call out to her shivering beneath her. She clenches and slows down to ride out her orgasm, long slow hard bucks of her hips.

She collapses on my chest without removing herself from me and our bodies twitch with each others movements. I takes quite a while for both of us to return to normal after our ragged breaths. When we do calm I gently lift her off me, she whimpers at the lose. I place her next to me my arm around her shoulders, her head buried into my chest. We fall asleep for an hour or two. When I wake I see her propped up on her elbow watching me, tracing patterns just as before. I can't help but laugh. She frowns, confused.

"What's so funny?"

I run my fingers over her cheek soothing her.

"You know, I'm not really sure."

She looks sceptical.

"I guess I'm just happy."

She smiles fondly down at me and places a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth. I reach up and tuck the hair behind her ear, bringing my hand to her neck, caress her with my thumb. Her eyes flutter closed and we stay like that for some time. I memorise every inch of her, she is radiant. Her hair is a mess and her skin glows with warmth. Her lips are in a content smile and I'm sure she has never been so relaxed. I pull my hand away and she opens her eyes.

"Clara that was incredible."

Adorably she blushes looking away before replying.

"It wasn't to much? I just wanted to show you how I, well you know."

I groan.

"Clara that was the sexiest thing I have ever witnessed."

I bring her down to press our lips together in a deep but slow kiss. I pull back slightly keeping eye contact.

"Clara, my Clara, I love you."

She smiles and pulls back further. I try desperately to hide the hurt from my face but I know she sees it. But she doesn't say anything.

"Clara, it's ok you don't have to feel the same. I understand."

But I didn't, she is all I have wanted for so long and I don't want to settle for less then every inch of her. But I also know if I push her she could leave. So instead I will just wait. She isn't looking at me instead playing with the sheets.

"Clara why don't we get some more sleep and then I'll get up and make us something to eat."

She stays silent for a moment to long and then bites her lip. Just as I'm about to ask if she wants to sleep by herself she speaks.

"As you wish."

**A/N: So too much smut? Thanks in advance for your reviews! **


End file.
